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I killed you in New Mexico (Free verse) by sunset sky

I was your temple-worship Hand me down. A temptress in a cave found shivering Reciting lines from Indian gods. Calling silly sounds from mouths of fire. I went grave digging for jewels To replace your haunted eyes. No, you didn't know it But I was your murdering princess Killing what was left of love and memory And you, a love-killer prodigy all worry stricken lightning eyed, cried for her threads to be torn, Kneeling and bleeding to death.

thepinkbunnyofdoom 27-Apr-05/10:30 PM
2nd stanza is incredible. Why 5 lines in the other two stanzas? Why not just keep the lines "Kneeling and bleeding to death" and "I was your temple-worship Hand me down" as one line instead of two. I think the writing is better than the form here. Still a 10 in my book.

<3 Jason




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