zodiac12 Apr 2005

There seem to be a lot of dangling, misplaced, or mismodifying participle phrases in this. Some examples:

"Feeling atlas blue the Atlantic pulse quickens;"

"pulling me in currents I fight it with leaden arms"

"Staring at the ocean you loved my soup of bones."

I wonder if you realize you're writing about an Atlantic pulse that feels blue, you pulling yourself in currents, and a woman who loves bone soup (but not necessarily the ocean).