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"Lovers or Friends" (Ode) by jroday

Let's not fuck tonight Let's try and make things right. We argue, we fuck, we don't resolve yet we think that by busting a nut, then the problems are solved. We have a lot of soul searching we must do instead of just fucking and then we're through. What happened to us, the days of old, when we knew not just our hearts, but each others soul. Where are those times when we would sit and talk and spend quality time with nice long walks,or the times when a gentle glance would put us both in a trance? And gazing at each other would serve both our needs, and we did'nt allow fucking to intercede. So baby let's go back, let's talk again let's be more than lovers let's be friends.

thepinkbunnyofdoom 28-Mar-05/9:25 AM
Few typos here and there, and a nice piece but it lacks some of the finer points of craftmanship.

Things this Needs
A) A good title, that doesn't give away your ending, much less the entire poem.
B) A better thought out meter.
C) Spellcheck.
D) A rewrite.

Til then -5-




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