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Sloth and Expectation (Free verse) by ifni

catch up is a race I run against myself, sloth and expectation, warring. 9-9-01 JV

nentwined 9-May-02/5:02 PM
this doesn't really catch me, but it feels like it almost did. I like the statement a lot.

for something so short it's really hard to make any sort of suggestion, but I think it would work better for me if it ended with expectation instead of warring -- "sloth warring with expectation"... separating the two more and giving it a stronger punch. maybe.




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