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Comparisons (Free verse) by anagram

Far away My angel sleeps Distantly Out of reach She does not stir Her resting eyes So beautifully Disguise the lies Her peaceful dream Soothes her mind A flaw in life She cannot find Dawn breaks through Soon she'll wake Another day A piece of cake Here I lie Eyes open wide Can't rest my head For the thoughts inside Toss and turn In sodden sweat My mind churns over I can't forget Fatigue overwhelms I tumble to dreams She is the star Always it seems Far away My angel sleeps Distantly Out of reach. CSN

god'swife 27-Aug-02/6:42 PM
I think I suffer from wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone wrote like me syndrome. This poem for example, I know what your talking about but I crave the details. I want metaphors, like, niave as turnips,in my poem. Your angel sleeps like......what? I know you could come up with something lovely. The emotions are there but I want more substance.




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