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Mice (Free verse) by MacFrantic

Oh how soon we do pretend That for this time We've reached the end A maze of sort which is the best Our span of life within this test String along and watch us run We climb the walls We dodge the sun This dubious race is not but strife Although it seems to move our life

zodiac 17-Nov-04/10:44 PM
re: "I'm glad you caught the metaphor."

You idiot. The title of the poem is "Mice". Presumably at least half of the metaphor is mice. A metaphor is supposed to work for both the thing it's superficially describing and the thing it's alluding to. richa said 'this poem isn't very good at describing mice'. Ergo, you've at least half-failed.

This poem isn't a very good description of people either. And ratrace/human metaphors are overdone. Now you've totally failed. I hope you're suitably ashamed of yourself.




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