Sasha3 Sep 2004

Definitely completely wrong. Prose doesen't have linebreaks.

Now critique:

You begin with two generalities copulating in alliteration rather rudely right infront of the reader's face: "paradox of possibility." The beginning of this poem might be improved all round by some concrete imagery, instead of bland and bald description. Show, don't tell. As a matter of fact, the whole poem does little showing and a lot of telling.

The meter however is a good one. Just don't shoehorn big words into it for the sole purpose of filling in the syllables.