Replying to a comment on:

Punk Rock Christmas (Free verse) by unknown^user

Do you believe in magic? because I believe in everyone And everyone is here but the words won’t make sentences until I'm done. Just leave your worries at the door I'll just wait here And take your fucking shoes off too because I won't look you in the eyes until you do. We all live in houses in a joking kind of way I'm at home everyday. We'll sit on the porch in silence in colorful aluminum lawn chairs and watch the kids grow. Do you believe in karma? because I believe in you whatever it is you do. And I'm no fucking raver but let's talk about nothing and watch ourselves grow.

Dovina 10-Aug-04/8:10 AM
When you say "fucking shoes" it implies some angst with the shod, and "no fucking raver" some reason to rave, but since you show none, the poem would be stronger without these. I can't relate poem to title without stretching my karma.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001