Replying to a comment on:

Doe (Other) by OneFingerAnswer

No candles at your vigil No one at your wake No one was at your side And so no one cried That little girl didn’t dance any more Her only shaking was in her hands Notes didn’t move her feet Under that head hung in defeat No flowers on your grave No name on the stone No one came around As they put you in the ground

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 12-May-04/3:00 AM
Great use of 'cried' to rhyme with 'side', but was her head really hung in defeat? I doubt it. You just needed her head to be hung in something that rhymed with 'feet'.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001