Replying to a comment on:

clay or mud (hertz donut version) (Free verse) by nentwined

is it clay, he asks, or mud, when his rhyming's not so good; is there fiber in its being, a structure to grow the words to meaning? or is it yet another failure that he yet pours effort ...

Shuushin 6-May-04/7:16 PM
"yet" can go.

Lots of twothree letter words in here... this could be very much distilled and made stronger, imho.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001