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I Find Myself Standing (Free verse) by Aetius

on a rope-bridge of hope across the chasm which grew between us on the day when I stopped writing. He laughed when I told him I was done. He disbelieved. Doubted. And now, I find myself mid-span. You'll see that I hold a pen. Again. And I just can't drop it. Maybe he was right.

Shuushin 4-May-04/11:08 AM
Shouldn't you be chatting someplace??
;O)

Not bad, this one - not bad at all. Might be a little preposition heavy in S1 (fairly easily fixed - trade away across somehow since it's implied by the bridge).

It's got a nice feel to it.

ah - I just notice <~> hit on the pronouns. Those little words that offer little value are what will kill you.

Over a third of the words are either preps or pronouns.




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