-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.29 May 2003

Then it is as I had feared... I myself have suffered under the terrible constraints imposed by that dreaded wank harness. It was not until I had had the decision reversed in a Court of Law that the hideous system of buckles and cleats were decoupled, and I was finally set free from its bizarre tyranny. Once again I could spend my afternoons strolling naked among fields of rice, the cool wind billowing frantically about my groin, no longer hampered by that dreadful apron... and yet... I feel an emptiness inside. A terrible yearning deep within my groin. Would that I could once again feel the splendour of cold steel and tattered rope about my calloused loins. Some sort of harness, perchance? No, not the wank harness; I want something more than that... something more mature... something... LIKE A MATURITY HARNESS!!!11