War Story (Free verse) by dougsoderstrom
This thing called war,
Believe me, itâs no fun...... found out the hard way that it was very
hard core,
Yes, I was eighteen when I left home and walked out of that door,
Mom begged me not to go....... she said, âSon why are you leaving, what
are you looking for?â
Told her it was time I had to go, wanted to serve my country, wanted to
join the corps,
So I went to see my recruiter, âSign me up like you did for my buddy
next door,â
Got shuttled onto a bus to San Diego, an hour later arrived at my base
of operations by the shore,
The first words I heard were not what Iâd expected, âGive me fifty damn
pushups, get your ass down on that floor,â
From now on youâre a recruit, and your mamaâs not here to take care of
you any more,
And if you think youâve got it tough now, then youâd better get your
shit together young man cause thereâs a whole lot more in store,
Before that night was over, I realized that Iâd made a really big
mistake....... cause with these folks, believe me, there would be no
rapport,
Just a bunch of bums who had only one thing in mind, destroy this kidâs
conscience so heâll never have anything to feel sorry for,
So I was trained........ learned how to shoot a rifle, throw a grenade,
and how to never be bothered by blood, guts, and gore,
They sent me off on a ship to Iraq, placed me in a tent and said âgood
luck kid, itâs time for you to go to war,
Twasnât more than an hour before I got my first kill, shot a damn Moslem,
blood and guts all over the floor,
Was proud to call myself a soldier, was no longer afraid, cause you see
now I had become a man, my honor had been restored,
The next day was really no different at all, killed three more, had
apparently becoming a marksman, and, no doubt, mightily adored,
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I was getting tired,
killing was no more fun, I was getting bored,
Every day the nights got longer, found I could hardly sleep, cause all I
ever dreamt about was bloody guts and gore,
My feelings were beginning to surface, they could no longer be ignored,
this infernal was more than Iâd bargained for,
With only a week before I was to come home, got caught in a terrible
battle, man was it confusing, the drone of the bullets, it was a
terrible roar,
Thought the guy in front of me was the enemy, he wasnât, turned out to
be my buddy, the guy next door,
Shot him through the neck, severed his spinal cord,
Felt like my life had come to an end, why him and not me, âGod help me,
I canât take this anymore,â
Having become a basket case, got shipped back home to Mom, she said......
. âSon, did you ever find what you were looking for?â
âI donât know mom, but believe me you were right all along, cause when I
left home a year ago I sure as hell didnât know the score,
Went to see the parents of my buddy next door, told them their son would
be home in six months, but not the way he was before the war,
Lived with Mom for about a year, wasnât very happy, too many questions I
had no answer for,
Decided to live with my buddy, the quadriplegic, next door, got a room
across the street from the corner liquor store,
Five years later hooked up with a lady I once knew, my buddyâs second
cousin who had since become a whore,
We lived together, had three kids who I learned to love and adore,
From then on things never seemed to change very much, life never
returned to what it was before the war,
Couldnât seem to forget about all the things Iâve done, you know, the
things so very difficult to forgive oneâs self for,
Couldnât stop the dreams about my buddy, the quadriplegic, and the guy
whose head Iâd blown off as he fell to the floor,
Now that Iâm much older, I try to live with what Iâve done, hoping that
The Lord might forgive me so that peace might be restored,
Well, I guess thatâs about all I have to say, thereâs really not a whole
lot more,
Just one more thing though....... you know, if it wasnât for the memory
of my mom, my three lovely kids, and that woman, my wife, the whore,
The Lord, my best buddy, the quadriplegic, and, of course, our friend,
the corner liquor store,
Well, if it wasnât for these things....... blessings I suppose you'd
them, there really wouldnât be a whole lot left for me to live the rest
of my life for.
Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D.
January 1, 2005
Happy New Year!
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