[Not particularly representative of my "style", I offer it for your perusal, probably on a limited time span. One for the kids.] .......................................................... Quiet town, boring pub, a loud noise, we all ran outside, Then stood there silently gazing, a huge space-craft had arrived, We all waited, full of dread, As a hatch slid open overhead, A figure emerged and politely said; "If you're fed up listen". Come take my hand and fly with me, to the land of blue and pink, Where everything is warm and sunny and twice as good as you think, There's animals there that cluck and cheep, They're fluffy and they bound and leap, On hills that all go down (but not too steep), Boredom's a thing of the past. Everything there is back to front and upside down, Left is right, long is short and squares go round and round, You'll never again be depressed, You'll be so glad that you left, I've picked you 'cos you're the best, Candidates for being cheered up. Come don't be shy, or scared to fly back home with me, At the speed of light, we'll arrive, before we left you see? Listen, you simply can't be sad there, The life you live here isn't fair, Earth is really beyond repair, Come with me to joy and love. On my world: The more you eat, the more weight you'll lose, The problem with employment is which job to choose, Then the less you work, the more you get paid, The more you spend the more you'll save. The future's sunny and never grey. Ahhh well done...sit right down. It's all so good and there's no end to the fun, You'll never have to leave 'cos you'll get slowly young, If its a long walk, return before you go, If you want it finished fast, do it slow, Just ask for anything we'll never say no. What's ours is yours forever. Nothing's a chore, you'll never get bored, just you wait and see, We need no laws, if you break the rules, we'll just leave you free, The more you own the less you'll pay, If you get homesick, you'll want to stay, If you oversleep you'll be early not late, Heavy loads are light as feathers. A life of leisure, exercise a pleasure, be lazy to get fit, Smoke more everyday and straight away you'll find you've quit, Dinners are improved with puddings before meals, Chips are healthy, vegetables make you ill, The more you eat the better you'll feel, Be geedy, just don't worry. Our world is peaceful, we just laugh and play, It's warm and bright (even at night) perfect in every way, If we build we leave more trees and woods, People talk and play music like they should, They don't practise to get good, Life's the way it should be. We've never had a war, never will I'm sure, people get on fine, No-one wants for more, there's no rich or poor, never any crime, Our home is beautiful and green, You have to see it to believe, The air is pure and fresh to breathe, We've never heard of pollution. So tell me now, while Earth's still in sight, do you want to come? If you like we can take you back to your planet by your Sun, So what's it to be you miserable lot? It doesn't matter to me a jot, But I know you haven't got a lot, I only came 'cos I felt pity. So we all stood tere and glanced at each other, We thought of our homes, and work and bother, And all together we shouted out! We jumped and waved our arms about! "Take us with you without a doubt!" How soon will we be there?