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Today I blew yet another Jew. (Free verse) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
If you were lucky I might have blew you too.
It just takes a little sushi, and a moment
filled with steady compliments to get my pants
unscrewed. Don't mind my fake legs they're more
real life than your oral fixation. Take your
time and sip your soup, and you might get a
demonstration of my well kept re-run of F Troop.
In vivid Technicolor it's 300.00$$.
Hard as treated marble, still 300.00$$.
If you have a hot tub and 300.00$$?
I have some 8inch words you should garble,
but none that are smaller.
I am an olive skinned hooker most of the time.
And on my only days off I prostitute my rhyme.
When I am 'a' hooking I use expensive hair gel
From the tip of my forehead to my wishing well.
For an extra fifty I've been known to shave my rim.
But I won't trick for a Spade, or use a foreign slim Jim.
I'm a proper whore.
That keeps a clean floor.
Expensive, and not one to bore.
Sex is my god given chore.
The ladies sure do cum.
On my straw coked rum.
The gentlemen all claim
My tight bud is a plum.
Ambidextrous, I'll float between your lovely hills.
I can hold back my load without any popped pills.
I take cash, and both corporate and personal checks.
But no IOU's or dry penetration for this boy's cracks.
I have a credit card slide in my well hung purse
Plus, a first aid kit that comes with a nurse.
In case, after we fuck, you have trouble inhaling?
Or, if when you get up to walk, you need mobile railing.
Please understand, it's not in my job description.
My task is complete, and I follow a code of tradition.
1. Never kiss, it's just too personal.
2. Don't treat a John like a B movie's rehearsal.
3. Stay, and be well mannered until the jobs done.
4. Never let hustling ever get to be fun.
5. Do not allow guilt to invade here, or there after.
6. Watch out for nut jobs allergic to real laughter.
7. Never do drugs as a means to find closure.
8. Avoid cock rings, they're for old men and posers.
9. Only stay the night if it's a big spender.
10 Try to keep clients that are known moneylenders.
11. Give Dr.'s and lawyers a decent discount.
12. Put your money straight in your pocket,
Since it's bad luck and rude to count.
13. Keep track of first names, but don't say them out loud.
14. The competition is listening in each and every crowd.
15. Don't try to impress, because nobody really cares.
16. Avoid sex in closets or old lazy boy chairs.
17. Remember that queens all brag to each other.
18. And beware of ex-wives and jaded gay lovers.
I am a male hooker, and as expensive as hell.
I could keep you all in stitches.
Up all night with the stories I could tell.
Some have asked me why, or better yet how?
But I just buy another round with a wink,
and a cute cock of my brow.
I am Richard Gere's favorite tight pressed trousers.
A souped up version of steroids ala Doogie Howsier.
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