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Shi (Free verse) by William Delacroix
Shi
William Delacroix
1.
Listen very carefully
because I will only explain this once.
The sword I will use
to cut open my stomach
has just been sharpened.
I have wrapped a cloth
around most of the blade
so that I have something to grip
when I kill myself with it.
My collection of poems
has been rejected
again.
The publishing house said
it was the worst poetry
they have ever read
that it made their stomachs churn
gave them nightmares
and they immediately trashed it.
The world of poetry right now
is in very poor condition.
There are people
who are breaking the mould
but no one
is rebuilding it.
Almost no one reads poetry anymore.
Why?
Because it's boring.
I want to see something
that I've never read before.
I know
the beauty of nature
the pains of love
the joy of life.
I've read those poems.
There are plenty of them.
We need someone
to say something new
in a way that gets people's attention
and refuses to be ignored.
2.
That's why I'm committing suicide
and writing my last words
in the form of a poem.
I want to change the poetry industry.
I want to make an impact.
I kneel down on the floor
and lay my sword before me.
I remove my clothes
and burn them in the fireplace.
My wife
a novelist
will understand why I'm doing this.
She sleeps deeply
but I will try not to make noise.
Holding the sword
by the cloth handle
I place the butt against the floor
so that the blade points upward.
Since I am right-handed
I will start with the right side
of my stomach
and cut to the left.
3.
I lift my body above the blade
and hold the tip against my stomach.
The steel is cold
the pain
is sharp.
Without closing my eyes
I thrust inward.
As the sword penetrates my body
three things happen at once:
a tidal wave of blood gushes forth
I wish I had used a tape recorder
I ejaculate explosively.
I push down with my body
driving the blade deeper.
As I slice along my stomach
I can feel my viscera tear apart.
But I must not make a sound.
4.
There is blood everywhere.
My hands and arms are painted crimson
making it difficult to hold the sword
but I cut deeper
deeper.
The flesh of my stomach grins
and my intestines erupt.
The scent of raw meat
fills the room.
I fall to the floor
in the growing sea
of my own blood.
I keep cutting.
A groan escapes my throat.
My wife
stands in the doorway.
She knows what I have done.
It's called hara-kiri: stomach-cutting.
She kneels down
in my ocean.
The flesh of her palm
on my face
is so warm.
I tell her I love her
and that I'm sorry.
She burns the other poems
and with the sword
cuts off my head.
It doesn't work.
The blade digs in
to the bone of my neck.
She tries again
and misses her mark
splitting my jaw.
The blade is stuck in my face.
I just want to die.
She pries out the sword
and drags me to the fireplace
trailing my intestines
across the carpet.
You wouldn't believe the blood.
She rolls my body into the fire
but I can see what she's doing.
She's writing a haiku in my blood:
Don't try this at home.
Go somewhere with no carpet.
Nothing gets blood out.
Author's note: Depending on the ideogram used, the word shi has well
over a hundred meanings, including the number four, "poem," and "death."
Romanization or implementation of katakana, the angular syllabery unique
to the Japanese language, renders the title's meaning ambiguous, and
several translations become possible. Isn't Japanese great?
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