There once was a monkey who knew how to read A unique individual from amongst his own creed His peers were so proud that they dressed him to lead But in time they grew jealous and smile turned to sneed To them words meant nothing but sex was still great In just that simple truth who needs to trust fate or choose only one mate Soon the monkey got lonely When no one would talk Then came the day They ousted him from his tree and to his dismay on the ground he had to pee and from new enemies he quickly learnt how to flee Then he left that place to find another No more lover, and no more brothers {Fantastic narrative foot note. prepare!} Competition seems so cruel but Charles Darwin claimed it cool and man that cat was no fool Living by the golden rule From us to god there is no spool The fountain of youth is a Florida backyard pool? {Now back to the fucking monkey} Soon he noticed no more green His belly was sunken His frame was quite lean "We rely to much upon our food", he thought out loud [But no one gave a flying shite!] "After that fact change your mood", he prayed inside [to his poor dehydrated monkey 'id'] {Narrator has flown the coup for Mardi Gras} {Basically pissing off any more foot notes} {so....bite my arse} Back i go to New Orleans Favorite hat along with jeans The weathers kind of sobbing blue With just a tinge of 'an' grayish hue In French quarter I stop to drink Or perhaps to merely piss and think About the day it changed for good One idea was all it took Now I sit and just write books (when i'm not investment banking) Plus, of course, I love garden variety euro trash music And a firm poem placed in between a cabbage patch kid pitiful spleen that just can't filter The art works sold <fuck no> Now I have a real laboratory <bullshit> To study mold <For what? your std's> So what if they want me to act I'd rather enjoy a double espresso cape pee pee late half twist decaf What? You heard me! Crikey! That remains a simple fact My chair stays down but i am up Thank you Linda for my fix I owe you two but here is six Tell your son I said hello Then out the door I gl ide mellow Today i think i'll browse the zoo Maybe glimpse the'herd' mouthing 'an' moo Or perchance an ape throwing 'an' poo The zoo is always so damn sweet Just look at that cute little girl Held up high (so she can see, duhr..) in her mother's arms Watching earnestly as monkey's tend to their farms I drew up closer To scrutinizingly see Why this 'scene' so attracted me And to my utter and complete surprise A single monkey began to rise It's one hand pointed to the cloudless sky The other hand was crossed over its heaving left breast And behind his hand a book did awkwardly rest Now he had it pressed hard to his chest He then drew in a deep breath and spoke out clear As the little girl's mother said," Oh dear " The monkey bravely stated that fate had brought him here He then asked for a razor and 'an' fogless shaving mirror The little girl giggled and let out a clap As her mother collapsed, and in her pants did crap I laughed out loud With 'an' hysterical sound And for three months I could not be found until the monkey trained "an" hound now all i do is fucking run 'an' round and 'an' round chasing a relic from the future.