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Frail Monsters/Wounded Souls (Free verse) by Wulf
Born into the fire
just another white-hot soul
and just like a baby
'bout ten thousand years ago
Watching daddy drinking
learned to bleed my mama's pain
It hurt to watch him beat her
i loved him just the same
i will never forget the first time
i heard my brother cry
Four years old, starving and cold
i hugged him, baby don't you cry
Children don't feel pain
They'll run naked in the rain
When the wounds begin to drain
remember
Children don't feel pain
Sheriff come in the morning
with the rent man at the door
They set us on the sidewalk
like a thousand times before
Mama Mama, come find us here
you've been working day and night
There's two strong boys to help you see
when the drunk man beats your eyes
i will never forget the first time
i heard my mama cry
The monster came
and he called my name
i hugged her, Mama don't you cry
Children don't feel pain
They'll run naked in the rain
When the wounds begin to drain
remember
Children don't feel pain
Born in school lunchrooms
pretending to eat, the lie
Damn the tears, sweet smell of food
the snickers, "White trash, cry"
Watched my brother break the doors
to taste that precious prize
and they punished the cold lunch bandit
eater of cookies - teller of lies
i will never forget the first time
the terror 'cross his eyes
Reform school grief for the cookie thief
loneliness, oh eater of lies
Children don't feel pain
They'll run naked in the rain
When the wounds begin to drain
remember
Children don't feel pain
Yes, sent into a madhouse
some idiot called school
physically blind and mental
ashamed to be the fool
Too many busy teachers
mistook my lost direction
as a way to get more than others
of their precious wise attention
i will never forget the first time
to my ten-year-old surprise
beaten before the class
choked unconscious
by Mister Teacher, God damn his eyes
That is when i learned to walk with God
to break away and die
to never have to answer them
brother don't you cry
At eleven-years-old, a man child
i raised a knife to my father's back
as he scalded and beat my mother
unaware of my attack
She cried to me, "Oh please, no no!"
He laughed that she might beg
In shame i hid the knife away
and pissed down both my legs
And one year, century later
a chicken coop - edge of hell
was home to my six brothers and sisters
my father and me as well
Mama was working and trying
to save up and sneak us away
My baby brother was freezing
Winter would have her say
Children don't have needs
some are flowers, some are weeds
You have to know which ones to feed
when they're old enough to bleed
My brother was my Robin Hood
the treasures he would bring
for me to hide and share with them
smile little changelings
And sometimes he'd get caught
pull his pants down, prepare to die
and bleed to the leather
and steel belt buckle
It won't stop until you cry
i will never forget the first time
i stripped him
whipped him until he cried
and the shame i'll feel forever
at that old self-righteous pride
"Pull those pants down
C'mon, all the way to the floor!
Get up! I didn't tell you to fall down when I hit you! Get up!
'Cause i'm gonna beat you
i'm gonna beat you some more!"
Children don't learn how to sin
don't know what they've seen
where they've been
Children don't learn how to sin
Where does hate, do the lies begin?
Yeah i was a hero
while my brother ran away to steal
i stayed home
and learned to be a responsible father
to my father and mother
and brothers and sisters
hoping my partner, the thief
would sneak back and slip me a meal
The hungry disappointment
when he'd get caught
made it easy to condemn
Eating those bags full of lies
it's a wonder that truth
would ever get in
We never thought about life
how much better it could be
Better was a warm bed
with fourteen wiggly feet
Looking back
I don't believe
we thought about ourselves as kids
The arena was too real, the blood game
prices for the things we did
i will never forget the first time
my brother told me about getting laid
He was eight and i was nine
Eight years later it happened to me
and i am still afraid
i cried in the spotlight
hospital waiting room
as i told my brothers and sisters
the doctor-God's message of doom
Daddy was seeing spiders and snakes
crawling across his skin
I hugged those six skinny Children
whose survival was their sin
i will never forget my twelfth year
explaining that Godawful lie
to my brother of brothers
all five of the others
Our Daddy is going to die
Ten thousand years
we have wandered the agony
two souls crossed yet destined to fly
as one 'cross the plane
dual Karmic blood warriors
To share is to grow, to part is to perish
alone in the desert, desert of lies
i will never forget the first time
i saw my brother's prison eyes
the guilt i felt as i knelt to wait for him
for the pieces he left inside
Children don't know love's feelings
aren't aware of healing
don't approach God en masse
shaking kneeling
Children think they can talk to God
We'll teach out of that feeling
My heart lies heavy in my breast
vast stone canyon
keeper of secret passages
There are five warm dwellings there
vibrant and alive
with the good fire of love's messages
Each bears the name
of one of my Children
to keep myself whole
for nothing is whole without a piece
at least, of all its parts
What precious gift, the knowledge
God walks in my garden
love castle, stone heart
i will never forget to forget
as all our lives pass me by
for i am younger than my Children now
i'm going down with my brother to cry
Children know hidden secrets
love without words or books
The true key is innocence
to seek, to find, while others only look
i have never born physical
yet in all ways see it through
Sometimes it is hard to remember
what i came back here to do
Yet all the threads of life i touch
make a web of love for me
i rejoice to be here with them
to be one with those who See
i will never forget the first time
a tear fell from my eye
the wonderful glow
of your beautiful soul
Baby don't you cry
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