In the end, When they’ll catch me up High in the mountains Breathlessly, ask “What are you doing up here?” I thought I saw—no I thought I knew, I thought something Where there was nothing but Void and abyss and “No man’s ever been here. No man Will ever be here.” Leopards, Firs, Footprints scoured By the roughshod sand snow Early yesterday morning I sat on that conclave of rock And listened to the bells Raging against the dawn Way out beyond that valley Where there are no bells No temples dedicated or decided To return when there is Nothing left to return or become Great white black bones turned To the last blaze of man And jaws wrapped tight Around earth— “What did you see? Are you all right?” Did they understand, ever The desolate thirst I could Explain and describe but Nothing but the coming up To never come down can Create the yet-to-be. Alone, yes, for a long time. Beneath thatch, brick, The tinder stacked to Ward off the uncontrollable In its white shrouds shucked Off one by one— In the evening he came in through the door And offered me soup, percolating with steam And said, “Drink. Drink. Drink. You will Need this.” In the vast still You can hurtle and I imagined a thousand Hurtling upward—legs Whirling, tiny dynamos Sweating enough steam To meet me at the top Nothing more but clouds Collected. I shake them all And, “Can you hear us? We’re Here to bring you down.” With my free hands—where Did it all go? I can see them Changing their minds, their Feet shuffle and stir up The loose and they breathe down. “It’s only getting worse.” When were we ever not here Without memory or direction, Only the possibility Of this place existing In the shadows of our hearts Where all you can think of Is someplace where this can’t Be real and they can’t know What they can’t carry down the slope Taking turns bearing the load That is rising, like all else, From fresh red to total, untenable Black.