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The Death of Us (Free verse) by andrewjthomas
We have to practice at tragedy
before getting it right. I never
expect the numbness â
Hurricanes and firestorms
rage in blurred view
as I float just beneath the oceanâs surface,
Drifting further down
as you tell me itâs not working anymore,
and further still as you canât say why.
Wailing Italian mothers know tragedy
always means death, throwing their bodies
on caskets, like a soldier to a hand grenade.
They rehearse all their lives
little tragedies of Miller Light carpet stains,
Johnny Jr. run away, and the street gossip of bruising.
No, they are not anesthetized like me
during the death of Us, stillborn
from the beginning.
I keep wishing youâd call, wishing you wouldnât.
Getting drunk as often as possible
until I feel friendly again.
Nightly bedtime conversations
really get in the way of my sulking.
And as long as you initiate, itâs somehow alright.
I hear want in your voice,
hinting what those mothers scream loudly.
Death should never be so quiet.
I keep picking at Us
like a scab. Crossing picket lines
to your house, your couch, your bed.
Strangely, you let me,
and Iâm left unknowing which,
attention or me, inspires such wavering.
You tell me to come over,
and the short drive to your black hole house
leaves no time for regret.
It comes only when climbing
your stairs, remembering the smell of our sex,
and arguments about God, our exes, and politics.
So stand there and let me kiss you,
then tell me and my throbbing dick to leave
I need the practice.
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