My Dinner with Andre: A fictional conversation By Nobody Wally and a man had been delving into very compelling topics of conversation during that evening at the restaurant, and from a philosophical standpoint, very dark topics. This dinner conversation was not light hearted and was filled with many deep issues that had been troubling Wally, that was evident. I’ve been a waiter at this restaurant for nine years now, nine long years. To be honest I’ve always thought Wally to be a little unsettling. Though he is a seemingly kind man, he always seems distant. Wally had mentioned some sort of social experiment, involving a hundred people in a room. What was particular about this experiment was that there was no premise for the experiment! A hundred people in a room doing nothing. From what I understood, this was a practice of objectivity. I decided to ask the busboy Jeevs Garcia his take on this exercise in objectivity. Waiter: Hey Jeevs, could you think of a good reason to invite one hundred people into a large room, I mean besides to get drunk? Jeevs: What the hell are you getting at? I’m creative man, you’re talking about some sort of performance art or some shit huh? Waiter: I guess, but still more objective; I mean there isn’t a pressure to perform, no tools, no food or drink, just people. Jeevs: I⠀™d start by charging everyone five dollars just to get in; I mean that†™s a quick five hundred! Yeah, so even if the art sucked, at least I’ d make a few dollars. Waiter: That’s beside the point, imagine for a second that you have no motives to even imagine, no desires, no gains; Then what, what would you make of this room? Jeevs: I’d be uncomfortable. I mean a hundred people just standing around doing nothing seems dangerous for some reason. Waiter: What if some of these people just started to cry, or sing, or dance for no reason, just because? Jeevs: I’m not sure man, I mean I could accept it because in that sort of situation there are no guidelines to the way you act or react towards the environment. You observe or participate, choose to fear or celebrate. It’s like my cousin, he always gets invited to the best parties but when he gets there he’s too uncomfortable in his own skin to dance or socialize, he’s a complete freak. I mean we are all given the opportunities to participate in life, but it’s never so critical that it changes us. Waiter: In a sense I think that is what Wally was trying to organize with this experiment, an opportunity for the participants to see themselves in a very different light, as fragile, strong, neurotic, passionate, anything. When people force themselves to react in situations that they have never been in, they learn the most about themselves, about the possibilities that exist within the person; the fear that exudes from such a situation is the fear of the unknown, and knowledge eliminates that fear. If the same hundred were put into the same room for a second time, their reactions would be very different. The raw reactions would be replaced by familiar reactions based on the mutual experience of the past room experiment, the comfort level would be altered, and personal inventories about individuals would be utilized. I really think Wally was onto something great. Jeevs: Whatever man, I still think the idea gives me the creeps. I like knowing what the hell’s going on around me anyways! People get all caught up in trying to free their minds from the daily grind, just like all the junkies that make this city turn. Everyone wants to find a way out of their lives, through meditation or the pipe, or stupid ass performance art; all they need is to be happy with the life they have, and to just keep living. That’s what I think. Waiter: In a way your right Jeevs, our lives are never as bad as we think, but I guess we all want more. Let me ask you, do you want to bus tables forever? Jeeves: Are you crazy man?! Hell no, this is just for now, I got plans. Waiter: But you come here six nights a week, to this restaurant, for the last two years, without fail? This restaurant is essentially a big room, with up to seventy five people in it at any given time, not unlike Wally⠀™s experiment. Our comfortable immediate surroundings have become our world, our small robotic existence. Jeeves: You’re freaking me out man. Waiter: I’m quitting this job tomorrow.