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the perils of internet dating (Free verse) by conny lingers
it was a summers day when we met
birds sang a bird singy song
I skipped lightly as I walked
as did my heart
with anticipation
we had been talking for three months
she had sent me a picture or two
her face for contemplation
and adoration and
a tastefully taken spread pussy shot
I sat by the park bench
where we had agreed to rendezvous
I was early, and a little nervous
so I spat at the squirrels to distract me
and pass the time.
fucking rodents
to say she hadnât been entirely honest with me does not begin to
explain
I didnât recognise her at first
she said she would be dressed in red
and that I would see her coming
she hadnât mentioned the âQuickie S-525 Custom Power Wheelchairâ
or the tetraplegia she was accustomed to.
the perils of internet dating
we walked through the park
well, one of us did. She just sat there.
she was actually quite nice
the squirrels regarded us with suspicion
we buzzed along regardless
and sat by the waters edge
she told me there were some sandwiches in her bag
as the ducks edged closer
so did a brave squirrel
her laugh was a pleasure to behold
when I kicked the furry little rodent
to the hungry ducks
who duly pecked it to pieces
whilst I ate the sandwich
peanut butter, crunchy. my favourite
we spoke of many things
her physical disability
she told me had spurred her on
to make the most of her mind
and the most she had made
we discussed Theology
and both agreed that any God who
would disable an innocent child at birth must
be a right cunt
we discussed science
and both agreed that
when warfare and
space exploration are
more important than feeding the starving
or curing the ill then
scientists must be right cunts
we discussed art
she herself preferred the masterpieces of
Leonardo of da Vinci and
Pablo Picasso
I said I preferred Rolf Harris and she laughed
then I laughed so she wouldn't think I was being serious
we laughed
then I made an inappropriate joke out of Pabloâs surname
and we stopped laughing, me shortly after her
we discussed music from the Baroque period
it took us to Purcell and Bach
we discussed fine literature
she enjoyed
Shakespeare and Dickens but said that
Hugo gave her the hump
by the time we started on theatre
I realised I was still in love
maybe more so
and that the wheelchair
altered nothing
(although it did help with her posture)
and it led me to realise
love isnât
in the bounce of a breast
the curve of a buttock
or the musky aroma of vaginal flatulence
no
love is in the mind
it is minds that meet
not bodies.
which was just as well. the sex was a disappointment.
it really was.
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