What is it, just to prove myself? My Faith is what gets me through life. Knowing that god is testing me. He’s seeing how strong I really am. I know that god will serve out justice, To those in the wrong. I want to move on, to forget. But I’m not sure I can forget. I think I’ve forgiven him. Not Sure. I need coping methods, But I choose the wrong ones, And go down the wrong path. The silly people in my head, Tell me ‘Go on the Pain makes it better’ Seeing the blood running down, Feeling your adrenalin rise. When it’s in my hand I freeze. Then go ‘BANG’ There they go one after another, Without a thought, After the rush it’s over I repent & regret it. That’s all it is, A stupid fucking rush for 15 secs, But I’m left with scars, Which last more that 15 secs. I think was it worth it? But I know it feels good at the time. You don’t feel the pain just bloody great.