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Johnny Thunders And Me (Free verse) by pain killer
Of everything I've known...and forgotten
Nothing has ever meant more than thirteen people
and Johnny Thunders
Now that I find I've dreamed all my dreams
And I'm at an age where I've discovered that hope is just another
passing phase that you grow out of
and checking out the "Rotten" website and reading Chuck Palahnuik and
Hubert Selby Jr are the only things that make me laugh
I can still just about remember
thirteen people and Johnny Thunders
When betrayal becomes a by-word for trust
And memories leak away faster than youth
and I find it hard to recall a time I didn't feel numb
I can still bring to mind a skinny guy from New York
With a big guitar and a bag full of songs
Four guys in the band
and nine in the crowd
Including me
Seventeen years old
A virgin still
In every sense of the word
Seventeen with my hands around the heart of the world
Who would ever have believed that back then we thought you could make
something last forever
And that it was simply the way of things
to feel as good
as I felt that night
when the legendary Johnny Thunders
brought his band to our nothing little town
When I feel tired and burned out and there's nobody to tell
I close my eyes and I see a skinny guy from New York with a big attitude
and a bag full of trouble
He's slumped down his amp and fallen over again
but he'll be okay
It's Johnny Thunders after all
A legend no less
The black leather rock n roll scarecrow drags himself upright and
disappears behind his amplifier
where he throws up all over the stage
and exits stage left
mid song...through the dressing room door
the band carry on regardless
and Walter takes over on vocals
until a few minutes later
somewhat rejuvinated
Johnny bounces back
plants one scarf wrapped and biker boot shod foot shakily on the stage
monitor
Striking a pose
From the lip of the stage I call out to him
"Hey Johnny...over here"
His reptile eyes catch mine
And in the silence between the bar chords and chewing gum chaos
I'm born for this moment
I'm born to lose my eyes in his
Pupils like the point of a needle
And then he speaks to me
"This one's for the kid at the front here...this is a song called..."
But then he forgets
Breaks eye contact
Looks around at the band
And grinning he asks
"Uh, what's it called again?"
And so I tell him
Twenty odd years later
He never made it
From the tracks on his arms to the tracks of my tears
(And when I think of all those wasted years)
Johnny was found dead alone in a hotel room in New Orleans
And I'm still here
In this nowhere town
But I guess I should be grateful
I'm still alive
I think
I've made that journey from youthful optimism to drugged resignation
From seventeen years of age it took twenty seven years to get here
and what have I learned?
That there's no such thing as Father Christmas
Ah well
When the days are too still
and the nights too dark
And I'm feeling old and finding it hard to remember what it was I used
to feel way back then
...what it meant to have a good time...
And...well...just stuff y'know
When there's nothing going on
and there's no-one around
I can still recall
the name of the song that Johnny forgot
And it's staying right here
in this small place in my head reserved for the good things
All the good things the years left behind
In this place in my head which I'll share with the ghost of some skinny
guy from New York who looked at me through pin pricked eyes and said...
"Yeah man, that's the one"
It's staying right here
Between Johnny Thunders and me
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