Humpty Dumpty set and he sat On the wall of the Catholic Vatican They shooed him away But he came the next day In spite of the the warning they'd had at him So on that great wall sat the egg Such an indignant sight for the pope When a fabulous scheme Just so daring and keen Even pious men put hits on these dopes An expert for this was required So they sent for the greatest in Venice And oh how he killed If not just for the thrill He was clean, he was quick, he was Dennis That Humpty, he teetered for hours Not suspecting his terrible fate When down came a shriek From the wall at its peak Which awoke all the dogs in the state Now, right before all this commotion A shadow appeared on the foyer As Humpty withdrew For a moment he new Crack! The first to arrive was his lawyer Then all the Pope's horses and all of his men Rather all of his cops and physicians Arrived at the scene A few turned quite green When they spied humpty's awkward position He laid on the ground, forty feet from the top Of the wall from which he was shoved As he lay in a heap With his insides knee-deep They sent for his wife whom he loved One interesting note on Sue Dumpty Because she had married a food Was not at all sad But her acting was bad While she cried all her happiness brewed For Miss Dumpty was part of a couple The other half liked to play tennis When Humpty found out He gave her a clout So she plotted and planned with her Dennis The end of his life was so near But humpty refused to expire He told a few jokes While he coughed up some yolk When the ambulence blew its back tire The medic who sat with the victim Got out to see what was matter A terrible shot Rang out through the lot Dumpty's sad life had been splattered The Pope was enticed by the news His great plan was done with efficiency But just one week after He ceased all his laughter He was charged with a count of conspiracy