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savior of humanity: (Free verse) by Sapphire
beneath the darkly swirling pool look down upon me behold the rotting corpse of mine essence shattered by splintering illusion vexed by incoherent musings of mad men torn asunder from the breast of mother earth savor the stench of her soured milk you've wounded her by tossing aside her precious child she kneels before you though her pleads fall on your deafened ear and never touch your cold heart have you no mercy for the hapless? are you so wicked to the core? look inside yourself... do you not see my eyes staring back at you brother? save me to save yourself bind us together in eternity

Up the ladder: By the way...
Down the ladder: big 'ol stupid

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.7894738
Weighted score: 3.846884
Overall Rank: 13461
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:12 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] nentwined @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
a LOT of images, not quite disjoint. I didn't really enjoy reading it because I stumbled all over the place, but I think this would be beautiful chanted outloud by someone with a solid understanding of the poem.
[0]... anonymous @ | 4-Apr-02/1:01 PM | Reply
"pleads" should be "pleading" or "pleas"...
it's okay. You're a seeker. You're doing just fine.
[0]... anonymous @ 12.220.132.198 | 13-May-02/7:00 PM | Reply
It doesn't seem to go anywhere. Sort of a watered-down mish-mash of styles. Wishy-washy?
[7] necroscope7 @ 204.34.247.9 | 10-Jun-02/12:35 PM | Reply
Quick note, either pleas fal, or pleading falls, not pleads fall. Otherwise very interesting.
[n/a] marjan @ 80.242.3.97 | 26-Aug-02/12:02 PM | Reply
highly impressive...you can write charming poems
[6] Sigh'ense... @ 66.214.45.238 | 26-Aug-02/12:09 PM | Reply
Weird but... I quess.
173 view(s)




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