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Palm Field Park (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Laughter rolls off a child's tongue in the park of wind blown palms. It radiates into the air and travels to my ears. The sound sparks memories of my empty youth; where racking sobs and tears replaced the unrestrained expression of joy that this child enjoys. I follow the trail of this sonance to be welcomed with the sight of the toddler's mother embracing him in a wild spin that lifts his small body high into the sky. I smile at this scene, praying that the present path of their life never runs off track.

Up the ladder: Sofia
Down the ladder: Dialogism

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.111111
Weighted score: 6.0555553
Overall Rank: 1178
Posted: August 5, 2003 1:57 AM PDT; Last modified: August 5, 2003 1:57 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Craychus @ 218.186.160.24 | 5-Aug-03/3:45 AM | Reply
touching.
[7] richa @ 81.86.73.151 | 5-Aug-03/8:12 AM | Reply
most of the first two verses are not needed. This works for me as the parable of a child alone.

And your 'empty youth' sounds a little adolescent indulgent
[9] Ataryu @ 67.162.245.116 | 5-Aug-03/3:28 PM | Reply
:'(
[7] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 5-Aug-03/10:06 PM | Reply
Or back on.
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