Withdrawal

The structure of you hatred Is like a narrow blade. It slashes and it clashes And it drives the lives away. I read you like hieroglyphics, Admiring the colors, shapes, But comprehending none. Your face is dark and hollow, I fear I may fall in And dwell among the vermin there, To die amidst the filth. Your skin is black and green and brown, A dazzling horrid gown. You love to heap the blackness Onto my weary soul. You relish in the life You suck and glean from me. You leave me here so empty. No light dares offend my eyes. The sick, hot pit that you have made me Curls and steams like a certain primordial ooze. You've taken all you can from me. You drip slow burning acid Into the pit of my stomach, like dissatisfaction. I love you because all my hate is used up. You tell me pain is freedom, I know that isn't true. You live among the poppies, In the fields of smoke and grass. I say that I consume you, But the opposite is true. Every time I hear you, smell you A shutter fills my spine. Your name is like cold steel in my mouth. I turn away my head from you. You have a certain power, A thread between my mind and yours. I can never escape you, Youre running through my veins. You are eternal, a staircase that never ends. I see the scars you have left, The secrets locked in the hallowed rings before me. Will my children's children look back And see the tender blemishes too? You intensify my being. You claim to add so much, But you are ripping, you are tearing, You are peeling, you are bleeding. Where do you keep them? Where do you keep the chips of my heart? Where do you keep the good thoughts? Do you burn them as kindling? Or offer them as blood sacrifice? I am just one of your sick, black dying flock. You do not hear me. I am nothing but a tally, a number, a speck. I am routine. You boggle me, always on my mind