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An Unreal Iowa December Night (Free verse) by LuckyJoe
An Unreal Iowa December Night A dark so light, Here on this full moon night, The ground glistens and sparkles, For upon it the dew caressing has froze, Each green blade of grass shimmers, A silver aura of breath taking array, Lightly the breeze whispers secrets, My ears tingle from what has been shared, I begin to smirk at the breezes presents, Playfully raising to recourse my actions; The breeze stands to its feet, now appearing as a strong wind. This wind chills myself to the bone, Looking out at the perfection my soul gives my body warmth, Seeing this the wind whistles and simmers down, Now the night is calm, as it eases my mind, These images of perfection I shall always remember. ~~To my love in the sky whom I was praying to on the night described.~~

Up the ladder: The Call Of Cannons
Down the ladder: American Hiker

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Weighted score: 5.4610424
Overall Rank: 2866
Posted: August 4, 2003 7:00 AM PDT; Last modified: August 4, 2003 7:00 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.59 | 4-Aug-03/10:38 AM | Reply
change breezes presents to "breezes' presents, also "froze" to "frozen"
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.13 > http://mulberryfairy | 4-Aug-03/5:11 PM | Reply
Thank you for the comment. My grammer and spelling has always been pretty bad :( At one point in time I quit writing because I hated always having to have someone look my work over for errors. As I age it seems to get better but high school and middle school kids can still spell better than me...hehe
[6] <~> @ 64.252.48.242 > LuckyJoe | 4-Aug-03/5:45 PM | Reply
joe just run it in word's spell check. turn the feature on where it auto-corrects spelling. that helps. the grammar check makes suggestions for you. this being poetry, you won't take them, of course, but it will point them out to you, nonetheless.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.13 > <~> | 4-Aug-03/6:32 PM | Reply
I do, do all that. Most my spelling problems are because its a word, just not the word that I want. Or I get to typing to fast, not paying attention and don't see that I've typed the wrong small word. Like if I might type is and not notice. We all do that at times though.
Thanks for the suggestions and whats a person have to write to get a above a 6 from you? Think I've got a five a six and a 1 from you. The one with a five everyone else gave 10's :P (not being mean or mad, just asking what you're looking for in your reading)
Have a nice day and take care. I'm surr to see you around...wavewave
[8] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.66 > LuckyJoe | 4-Aug-03/8:04 PM | Reply
Yeah, I guess I was lucky to be part of a family with an evil, authoritarian maternal grandmother who feverishly corrected my grammar for any sign that I was picking up my immigrant (paternal) grandmother's grammatical errors. But, keep with it, people CAN learn grammar past their toddler years, or they wouldn't bother teaching it. With spelling, I can't say that I am any better, but I do use the spellchecker to spare my audience's poor eyes.
[10] Druid_Girl_1984 @ 209.214.109.132 | 8-Aug-03/5:55 AM | Reply
thank you for commenting on my poem. i really tried this time around lol. i think it took me nearly an hour to finally get it the way i wanted it. funny thing is it can be taken so many ways. l8r = )-
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