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The Search (Other) by OneFingerAnswer The search never reaches its goal.
The soul, never filled, never whole,
Plugging one gap only to seal another,
Always one piece short, you seach forever,
Until the day you reach your end,
Until the the day you transend,
All to feed a geedy soul,
All to fill a gaping hole,
Crushing and collapsing,
Never breaking, never relaxing,
Sucking vacuum, empty void,
To enter is to be destoyed,
Always wanting, never full,
Never relaxing the relentless pull.
Up the ladder:
Phone Support: To Lee
Down the ladder:
S c r e a m
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.428571
Posted: July 12, 2003 11:50 PM PDT; Last modified: July 13, 2003 12:01 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.1152606 Overall Rank: 5989 Comments:
Lines 3 and 4 fuck up the rythm and rhyme (another w/ forever?), as well as the meaning (what's the dif between seal and fill?).
Elsewise, I liked it. 6
I like the repetition here, but perhaps you need to break the form - maybe write it in blank verse instead to keep a restraint as the rhymes sound a bit ding-dong if you know what I mean?
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Plugging one gap only to seal(find) another
as it is it doesn't make much sense. On the whole it is a bit repetitive in the second half