Other № 56133

The Search

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Jul 2003 · Edited 13 Jul 2003 · 3 comments

The search never reaches its goal. The soul, never filled, never whole, Plugging one gap only to seal another, Always one piece short, you seach forever, Until the day you reach your end, Until the the day you transend, All to feed a geedy soul, All to fill a gaping hole, Crushing and collapsing, Never breaking, never relaxing, Sucking vacuum, empty void, To enter is to be destoyed, Always wanting, never full, Never relaxing the relentless pull.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.43 weighted 5.12 rank 5988 views 214 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

3 comments

[5] Blue Magpie 13-Jul-03/12:28 AM Reply

I think it should be

Plugging one gap only to seal(find) another

as it is it doesn't make much sense. On the whole it is a bit repetitive in the second half

[6] EAger to Offend 13-Jul-03/2:24 PM Reply

Lines 3 and 4 fuck up the rythm and rhyme (another w/ forever?), as well as the meaning (what's the dif between seal and fill?).
Elsewise, I liked it. 6

[6] Zoe 5-Dec-05/8:06 AM Reply

I like the repetition here, but perhaps you need to break the form - maybe write it in blank verse instead to keep a restraint as the rhymes sound a bit ding-dong if you know what I mean?