poemranker ::Lonely Soul by sir_heff

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Free verse № 50880

Lonely Soul

by sir_heff

Member since 2003 · Posted 30 May 2003 · 4 comments

Loneliness creeps up behind my back And whacks me in the head with a bat As the pain rushes to my brain I hope it never comes back again But that loneliness is always there It never sleeps and it’s always aware I’ve tried and tried to get rid of it Can’t get it to budge a bit As I search for the needle of happiness In the haystack of hell, its back again It strikes me down And as I fall I suddenly can see it all- Happiness is a dream to me A dream that I will never see Loneliness is there for me Like it or not, its all I can be

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mean 6.29 weighted 5.35 rank 3407 views 177 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

4 comments

[7] Shardik 30-May-03/12:02 PM Reply
Yes, rhyming brain with again gives me a buzz, always.
[8] BleedingRose 30-May-03/12:06 PM Reply
okay, cuz im yur friend and all, i have to point out little things. there are a few bumps in the proverbial road of this poem. when they are smoothed it makes it easier for people to read and know what youre saying. the bumps include instances where ryhmes or lengths dont match up well (lines 1 and 8 maybe). and in certain areas you cease to use the pattern used throughout the rest of the poem (3rd stanza) but this IS free verse and you very well may have wanted it that way so maybe i shouldnt say anything. NEwho, i feel the idea behind it(though it may be a tad depressing). 8 on principal :)
[4] Fear of Garbage 30-May-03/1:04 PM Reply
why are you daring me to call you a fake
[n/a] sir_heff › Fear of Garbage 2-Jun-03/12:17 PM Reply
wtf does that mean?