perks

i can hear you in the air never had the chance to stare deep into those eyes of the most wonderful shade of oak i do not understand why why i never said what i wanted but i still have a chance yet i sit i snort i smoke i shoot forget your presence tell me it isn't true tell me you feel this way too i am frustrated not because i am scared frustrated of my ignorance i don't know the words to say to describe the way i feel when you turn around and look at me you laugh and i smile hoping we can stretch this feeling a mile now, you practically told me i am the one honestly that would be the only way i would wish to remain remain alive, with nothing rotting inside for you it was just a dream how can i tell what you are dreaming is real but then there is you you are the problem you tell me you feel then you start to deal a thought, then nothing some more thoughts, then nothing then you turn into nothing i hate you, i hate you reality is i don't i just wish i did now alone not only here--> (i) (i) <--but there aswell i don't know if i want to live or die i don't know if i want you or you i just need a feeling, to keep me going to keep me safe, to keep me alive such a harsh world to live in how much longer can i keep breathing?