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A God Upon This Earth (Free verse) by WHeYe
(read it in its entirety before judging, please) Where Heaven be a Monarchy Indeed I find this odd As if upon this cursed Earth A king should be a God And follow mindless zombies To his whimsical desires Or suffer fate of horrid death Consumed by singeing fires Frightened little people Do not dare to King should tell Unless he change his blessed ways Prepare for their rebel Yet clan begins and clan expands Until the clan is strong And clan collects against the King Of whom has done them wrong The perfect king is perfect does Though no one can agree What perfect is is no one else So how could it be he? Break free from solitary King For making you his slaves Expecting follow questionless By claiming you he saves Perfect the land to fit the minds Of those with stronger sword And make a motto that reflects Our oneness with the Lord For sure this be correct Oppose the thoughts of just one man That several make the rules In which the government is ran All have a say in who is King If not they can rebel To them, you see, comparatively, The other place is Hell What fools to live under A reign controlled by only one Where power?s given easily Because you?re born his son God bless ourselves for surely God prefers our blessed race And smote upon the lesser ones With slightly darker face Our country is a copy Of what Heaven surely be But read again and question Why God heads a Monarchy So choose the one important To your everlasting pride Religion and democracy Have yet to coincide No correlation ?tween the two Does make it interesting That stubbornly we still insist The US has God?s blessing.

Up the ladder: 9/11/01
Down the ladder: Meditation 03

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.75
Weighted score: 4.7317934
Overall Rank: 11709
Posted: March 10, 2003 4:08 PM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2003 4:08 PM PST
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Comments:
[5] wLeBlanc IIIw @ 198.81.26.167 | 10-Mar-03/7:10 PM | Reply
Work on your wording. Use more powerful words. Your idea is good but the presentation isn't.
[2] poetandknowit @ 65.100.176.184 | 10-Mar-03/10:23 PM | Reply
The first line ruined everything!
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