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Perfect (Free verse) by wordontheverge
we revist wounds held together with duct tape promise pain pristine and practical voice excess damage cloud issues like equality abuse war womens choice to abstain stop time clock that sends alarms screaming must we submit? give permission count for something drops of blood period. a dry throat does not speak upward mobile unearth symptoms nervous breakdown currency assurance education like pre-school pre-meditated predominately white electoral colleges vocalize crowds on Washington outlaw protest tedious polls often lie beside my bed a pen a spiral empty tree left hollow devoid of all knowledge waiting for birth a victimless murder who will speak for me when i am gone? maker is met at gate eternal belief system scorned previous lives uncounted yet arrive via satellite through wavelength stereotype promoting laughter at mcdonalds worker sweeper deeper than polluted seas and cemetary borders pretend a happy death smiles and yellow roses erase thoughts of suicide by incarceration reincarnation blossoming orange tree bearing gifts to consume my mind with grief i speak of nothing but peace in a time of masks quiet carbon copy ghost fighting the clouds for space because no one is perfect.

Up the ladder: My Dear Friend
Down the ladder: There

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10091
Posted: January 23, 2003 12:04 AM PST; Last modified: January 23, 2003 5:41 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] wOrnella Mutiw @ 198.81.26.167 | 23-Jan-03/12:09 AM | Reply
I like this....fighting the clouds for space... Overall, I like what you're trying to do, but at times it seemed choppy....work on the flow and then it would be in the 9/10 range.....for now 7.
[n/a] wordontheverge @ 209.245.134.46 > wOrnella Mutiw | 23-Jan-03/12:15 AM | Reply
thanks for the feedback...i have to work on this some more
i was really feeling the piece when i was writing it, now i have to go back and reflect on it a bit
[5] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 26-Jan-03/8:27 AM | Reply
revist?

not a fan of this style.
122 view(s)




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