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The Jesus Belt (Free verse) by Caducus
She ran miles past American dreams grieving for religion. A whore of Magdalene with bread between thighs, drunk on wine the human condition and belief which turned out lies. God always found her, lost on a cracked bed barren from baptisms and pleas for forgiveness, granted by lashings Of ‘the Jesus belt’. She prayed to our Father in heaven. For her Father on Earth, just as she did at seven and as he did from her birth. She was never planned Always damned, born too early to be strong, Too late, to feel she belonged. A Fathers of seed who walked from his bloom made bleed, the roots of her womb and when he left her soiled she lay in the ditch coiled Watching, her sailor dress burn.

Up the ladder: The plains of Africa
Down the ladder: Gargamel & Azriel

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Arithmetic Mean: 8.0
Weighted score: 6.5
Overall Rank: 683
Posted: December 6, 2002 5:25 AM PST; Last modified: May 24, 2005 5:12 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 24-May-05/10:49 AM | Reply
Good. Just a few take-it-or-leave-its:
"and belief turned lies"?
"A father's seed"?
"made to bleed"?
[n/a] Caducus @ 81.131.248.11 > Dovina | 24-May-05/2:45 PM | Reply
thanks dovina, its weird when i click to edit thispoem it comes up with 'adults in wonderland'.
[7] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 25-May-05/2:53 PM | Reply
I like this but I feel like a dunce for not knowing who "she" -is. Honestly I think the psuedo-rhyme hurts it.
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