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Castle Psyche' (Free verse) by Sterling5583
It started off with the murder of a loved one. The injustice haunts me even to this day. The only thing able to right what was done, Is to return the favor, in the exact same way. My heart becomes vindictive, and my spirit turns black. My mind creates a castle, of darkness and cliche'. This is just before I seek the assassin, and start with an attack. At this point, my sanity weakens, and falls into disarray. I mentally sit, on my throne of rage, In the kingdom of vengeance, ready to tempt fate. Surrounded by a moat of loneliness and my only friend, a sage. That only friend and council, is the visier of hate. Memories of good times, long ago began to fade. I am on the edge of madness, with nothing to live for. I visualize myself, draped only in shade. The time to avenge has come; it is now time for war. I'm armed with my sword of destruction, unconcerned with failure, When the doors of solitude open and an entity steps in. The entity is an angel, and is to be my savior. A battle for my soul commences, it's unknown who will win. The angel thwarts the visier with a simple 'hello', My evil advisor has now left me and gone. The caring being reached out to this dark-hearted fellow. I looked into her eyes, and so began a new dawn. The castle has since crumbled, and the moat, gone dry. Hate no longer consumes me, and the good times return. She brought me in to the light, where the limit is the sky. But, evil lurks inside us all, awaiting a chance to burn. On a darkness scale, I'd say I'm a six. I'm not anymore as I was on my throne. I now feel that I am a well-blended mix. Perfect, humans are not, but to evil they are prone. The dark side appears occasionally in all others as well. We must be strong, and find something that gives us pride. Or else inside our castles we will eternally dwell. And it never hurts, to have an angel on our side.

Down the ladder: Mountain Ash, Mid Glamorgan

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Weighted score: 5.4
Overall Rank: 3175
Posted: June 6, 2002 6:56 AM PDT; Last modified: June 6, 2002 6:56 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] deleted user @ 65.68.1.84 | 25-Jul-02/2:00 PM | Reply
very good, no extreamly good! I love the dark feeling that you describe so well. Reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe stuff, though his almost never have a happy ending and yours sort of does.
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.29.188 | 23-Oct-03/1:16 PM | Reply
really good but again there's no sense of editing or, how shall I put it, candence?

'It started off with the murder of a loved one.
The injustice haunts me even to this day.
The only thing able to right what was done,
Is to return the favor, in the exact same way.'

It started with murder. My loved one.
The injustice haunts to this day
The only thing able to right what was done,
Is the return of the favor, in the exact same way.
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