| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Wither (Free verse) by agent008 I?m at a loss of drunken motion,
Tasting pillowed lips? potion.
Taking
on a whole new light of fear,
When you are there, I am near.
Lay your
hand upon my withered head.
Brush away my loneliness.
Turn my water into
wine.
Let us drink away this ignorance.
One more time ?
Open my mind by
turning the key.
One more touch ?
Dying with quivering ecstasy.
Up the ladder:
when i make sculpture
Down the ladder:
loki's end
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.648148
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:18 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:18 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.648148 Overall Rank: 2129 Comments:
[0]...
anonymous @
|
11-Jun-01/8:02 AM
|
Reply
I like it as lyrics, but don't quite see it standing on its own without complex music running all around it. Perhaps it's just too short to fill me with a comprehensive image? Or my imagination is lacking...
why the two couplets at the beginning, then free form for the rest? I don't see the significance.
Ouch...
this is beautiful. :) I'm curious -- is this drug or woman? and if drug, which? I could pick a few, but if you had one in mind that would be nifty. :)
008 was an asshole. He doublecrossed 007.
191 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
