poemranker ::Fruition by Modulo

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Free verse № 259

Fruition

by Modulo

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 7 comments

Conglomerated checkerboard destinies Puzzling the last shred of my sanities Turbo-charged monkey brain hurled Spiraling into a funneled world. Gaseously internal conflicts intestinal worrisome eyes, My body is pulled towards the sun, Her thighs. Mismanipulation and woe, Driving two-ton slayers. Not even my cosmic understanding of itching Can keep me from the big grow. Females worry, friends lead on. Cops lead the evening blurry Without rhyme or reason We're gone. Paisley floormats, Flashing smiles - turning heads. Plastic tubs A thought: what would happen if I were dead! "Only thinly aware of a certain unease in the air" Home is where the heart is. But at 4 am? Visual bombardments and obnoxious residues. Lemon-lime lighting pulsating the night away.

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7 comments

[5] anonymous 30-Jul-01/12:59 PM Reply
some interesting images but I'm not sure how it all ties together. seems like a massive stream of consciousness exercise. sex, modernity, violence, dislocation, questing freedom from the mundane...great themes but leaves me wanting a cleared voice.
[5] anonymous 30-Jul-01/1:00 PM Reply
some interesting images but I'm not sure how it all ties together. seems like a massive stream of consciousness exercise. sex, modernity, violence, dislocation, questing freedom from the mundane...great themes but leaves me wanting a clearer voice.
[5] anonymous 7-Aug-01/1:43 PM Reply
I like this and can't say why. It's a good example of how rhyme can build spoken structure into a poem without set structure. You've come up with some nice snippets of phrase, too.
[5] anonymous 15-Oct-01/4:20 PM Reply
This poem would be much better if you put less emphasis on rhyming. The rythym is great, but the rhymes sound a little forced and cheesy.
[1] deleted user 12-Jul-02/8:45 AM Reply
Sophomoric
[7] -=SeTTle=- 28-Jul-02/6:11 PM Reply
John Jacob Jinglehiemer Schmidt
[7] -=SeTTle=- 28-Jul-02/6:11 PM Reply
John Jacob Jinglehiemer Schmidt