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Focus (Free verse) by MacFrantic I fell into a stupor,
An inebriated calm,
While the world swirled thus around me
And the strangers came thus roundly
I couldn't then believe my sight,
Sight being of another's eye
Falling out of consciousness
In joyous route and spleen and spry
Steps eternal, midnight whisper, leading off to games undone
Cursing all to curse the sky
Fooling all to fool but one
Up the ladder:
November 1963
Down the ladder:
Goodbye
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Posted: November 29, 2005 10:16 PM PST; Last modified: November 29, 2005 10:16 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.1490035 Overall Rank: 5266 Comments:
The only thing I would change is that I would space the lines and the words even farther apart.
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"spleen and spry" is good, but you know for all intents and purposes they're opposites, right?