Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

tourist (Free verse) by skaskowski
a mansion hid past a brown blueberry bush on the crest of a crusty old hill. and bid for the last creepy spot in the trafficking roads that wound round her whole dell. and paid bucks and pennies for each, and, well, any surveyor of the indescribable. so she might redecorate all of the ornate and useless glass fixtures she kept alight.

Up the ladder: Little Fly
Down the ladder: Gerry's Song

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 8081
Posted: November 5, 2005 2:43 AM PST; Last modified: November 5, 2005 2:43 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[10] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 6-Nov-05/4:36 AM | Reply
Regarding the poem: I don't think she redecorates by keeping (or reinstalling) the original fixtures, which I assume is what tourists do in old country places. It needs a different word.

Regarding tourists: Mid-desert, they will unfailingly find the biggest patch of sunlight and stand in it, blinking.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 6-Nov-05/1:17 PM | Reply
Lose "whole" in stanza 2.
216 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001