| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
The Journal (Free verse) by 1Sapphire1 You told me that you wrote a poem about me,
and you left your book behind.
I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.
I read something beautiful about true love,
and it hurt.
I wish you felt that way about me.
Up the ladder:
haiku cycle 2
Down the ladder:
Dream Maker
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Posted: August 30, 2002 10:58 AM PDT; Last modified: August 30, 2002 10:58 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.9284782 Overall Rank: 9320 Comments:
[4]
poetandknowit @ 65.101.212.140
|
30-Aug-02/11:17 AM
|
Reply
Tighten this up and I think you might have something interesting. Think it through, maybe try to create a more solid image rather than tell the reader how you felt (hurt) and what you wished for.
I like the situation and the heart-break
139 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
