|
|
Narnia Apocalypse (Free verse) by Caducus
After she left
Her hairs remained
On pillows
Indented from her sleep,
And my loneliness awakens
In a cotton coral
next to heckling silence.
Her empty wardrobe.
Leads my thoughts to Narnia.
To be young enough to dream,
Yet this head is old
And like Narnia I am cold,
Following the footsteps of Edmund
Laughing at statues
Fat on Turkish delight
Yet hollow as a Russian doll.
Stars no longer help me sleep.
The moon is just a sunlit rock.
God is a cure for those in denial,
And Narnia just a story
An empty pine wardrobe
With glockenspiel hangers
singing my loss.
And what of me?
What am I?
I am a photo
Face down on the mantel
A face to sicken you
A memory like all memories
Forgotten so it hurts less.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
| Graph | Votes |
10 |
|
1 | 0 |
9 |
|
0 | 0 |
8 |
|
0 | 0 |
7 |
|
0 | 1 |
6 |
|
1 | 0 |
5 |
|
0 | 0 |
4 |
|
0 | 0 |
3 |
|
0 | 0 |
2 |
|
0 | 0 |
1 |
|
0 | 0 |
0 |
|
1 | 0 |
|
Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.089402
Overall Rank: 6309
Posted: March 23, 2005 2:58 AM PST; Last modified: March 23, 2005 2:58 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
289 view(s)
|
i like the adjectives in the 3rd and 4th stanzas quite a bet, and especially like the metaphor of the 4th...the 1st and 2nd, again, could use a little more spice in description...(the hair on pillow thing is pretty cliche, I read two poems yesterday with the same exact idea in almost the same exact words)
Good piece, i hope it doesn't hurt anymore if you are the I referred to!
peace,
sean