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two (Free verse) by hendrimike
first side shows happiness no rejection from peers no one arguing or yelling at me striking my life with fear acceptance is what everyone needs from someone they know no one likes the feeling of rejection and being low second side shows neglect their is no love in this house of mine no peaceful white doves i feel as though i'm not good or haven't been top notch for i'm scratched away like an itch on a crotch help! save me from lonliness i can't take it i feel like a pest i'm going crazy from all the fights the loudness and anger in the middle of the night so i say now help, before it's too late there must be an end to all of this hate i try to be good i try to be nice i want others to be happy people brush me off like lice no more none of this listen to yourselves talkin' your shit so let's get together and let's all rejoice let's talk peacefully hear each others voice save us! we are in danger of seperation let's have love for the length of duration so i leave now and say to you the first side may look good but always look at number two

Down the ladder: What Happens When It Rains

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.0794687
Overall Rank: 6449
Posted: December 11, 2004 9:58 AM PST; Last modified: December 11, 2004 9:58 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] hendrimike @ 152.163.100.67 | 12-Dec-04/4:57 PM | Reply
nobody ever votes
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 12-Dec-04/6:45 PM | Reply
The second verse is a bit preachy and some of the rhymes are forced, and it's wordy, but the idea is good and your feelings are good, and it's a good thing to say in some succinct way.
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