Poemranker [Poem: A Frosty Fistful of Haiku] [by HaikuMofo] Thu Nov 21 09:06:01 PST 2024

--- Frosty Ev'ryday, It's not just of ice cream that I would like a taste. Watching for moments her uniform clings to her in revealing ways. Oh what is her name, for her name tag does not say, crazy Wendy's chick. If I were to stare deep in her eye-linered eyes, what would I then see. A buck ninety-two, that's how much it will cost me for another glimpse. Isn't it cliche, picking up of waitresses. How can it be done? Am I the subject of gossip in her workplace or am I dismissed? So oft have I gone, Just another customer, nothing in her eyes. That's the way it goes, for both me and my Haiku. What can cool my mood? ---

[6] myles @ 194.165.161.16 | 3-Oct-04/4:54 PM | Reply

Haiku, even when westernised and lacking seasonal references or alterating vowel-consonant pattern, remains a powerful form of poetry. It works well in this ebbing story of hope for an unlikely romance.

[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.14.17 > myles | 4-Oct-04/4:23 AM | Reply

What the hell do you think English is written in, if not alternating vowels and consonants? I propose that you just heard something about haikus somewhere and decided you'd splatter it anywhere haikus were involved without thinking really hard about whether it made any sense. In fact, I double-dare you to find me a haiku (transliterated, if possible) which demonstrates a skillful use of an alternating "vowel-consonant pattern". If it's the case - as it might be for all I know - that Japanese is intrinsically more alternatingly vowelly-consonanty than English, then what the fuck do you expect? That anyone who wants to write a haiku should write it in Japanese? Hey, what a magnificent idea!!!!!!

PS-"this ebbing story of hope for an unlikely romance" is fucking beautiful.