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Desire (Free verse) by mk32
She sits across from me, As we talk that rainy day away. The umbrella over the table Conceals us in its shade and Hides us from the cascading rain. Her hair like yellow windchimes In the breeze that sweeps on by, Her blue eyes penetrate me, And I'm sure mine do the same to her. I wanted so much to tell how I felt, But not so much that I wanted to risk What we did have over what could be, And now I awaken and see through the window The rain in torrents, and the lightning That cracks the dark sky with a crash. I close the window and return to my slumber And hope that I dream that dream again.


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Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Weighted score: 5.166884
Overall Rank: 5028
Posted: May 5, 2004 3:01 PM PDT; Last modified: May 5, 2004 3:01 PM PDT
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sliver

Comments:
[8] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 | 11-May-04/3:15 PM | Reply
Comment on something, Please.
[8] caitydee @ 205.188.116.68 | 11-May-04/8:17 PM | Reply
Some lines were a little awkward but I'm not as into style and grammar as most people on this site are-for me poetry is about expressing what you need to express-I felt and connect with what you were expressing-for that-well done, I enjoyed this.
[10] sliver @ 63.190.65.81 | 2-Jun-04/9:18 PM | Reply
SHIT, I think this is going on my favorite list. Thanks.
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