Re: Sexxodus by Shin-Bojangles	21-Aug-02/2:30 PM
blah blah boring blah. your head looks fat.
Re: Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles	21-Aug-02/2:25 PM
hey you stupid little penis bearing bigots. My pussy would eat you alive, and then spit our your osteoporitic bones!
Re: Secret, Admirer by <~>	21-Aug-02/1:28 PM
Hear we go again darling. the middle bit, I'll call it the bridge is better for it's simplicity. My brain doesn't have to work overtime trying to make images out of the words. But the rest of it is difficult to read Example: Now no city lights violate the velvet indigo canopy. How about: Now no city lights violate the sky. thats an accessible poetic image. i hope I'm not overstepping my bounds. I me you service, but even the best intentions can F**k things up. let me know the boundaries and I will respect
Re: cold sonnet by <~>	21-Aug-02/1:20 PM
No I'm sorry I did not see the 1st. Maybe you should try using a thesaurus in reverse. I do it sometimes. Also the dictionary is my dearest and closest friend. i look things up and the damn thing tells me exactly what the poems need to know/say. Try doing exercises with throw-away poems, you know make things up while your busy with the drudgeries. Also sometimes single words are better expressed in full sentences, I know it sounds as if it would make things more complicated, but imagery is the key. Stay lyrical
Re: Hunny by Venus	21-Aug-02/1:01 PM
The ending is the best bit. Because that's how it goes. Even if we don't kill each other, we wish we could sometimes. Especially when the romance has already died. Why the hell else do we put up with each other, if not for passion and romance. I think alot of men aren't aware of how much they bore us, and yes dearies to the point of homicide.Back to the point; The Po-em is good. 7
Re: cold sonnet by <~>	21-Aug-02/12:46 PM
Tree and stone. Do you believe in coincidence? Wow so do I!!! Thank you for your praise. I love your poem, but it seems to be bogged down with fancy synonyms. You've got great skill, which can't be taught. Speak from the heart instead of the head. Concentrate or actually stay unfocused enough to go with sound of words working together. Your 1st and 3rd lines are beautiful examples of this. the vowel sounds in cedars breathe are sensual and strong. Also the rhymn between slow as stones & craked bones. Needs work. Give it time.
Re: Belongings by Christof	21-Aug-02/3:21 AM
see, I knew it! She owned it, she drank it, that's some sexy sh*t. You can write, so don't take it personally if I think one of your poems isn't of this higher quality. By the way you can look up my drivel and shred it to pieces, as long as you're being honest. I'd appreciate that.
Re: setting the record straight on April by poetandknowit	21-Aug-02/2:39 AM
I love this poem it is witty and depressing and honest and real and full of grace. If it were my poem which clearly it is not, I would try to find a better phrasing for the last thought. it sort of disappoints.Kinda like oatmeal after chocolate mousse. Also,did the dead guy lose too, or did ashcroft lose to the dead guy?
Re: Bizarre Practices by longships	20-Aug-02/9:28 PM
This poem should be recited from the steps of every kindergarten! Dr. Seuss for the internet set. Too bad the old Doc ain't around to create the illustrations for you! Or perhaps it should be canonized/memorized by the kiddies a la Night before Christmas..."While visions of S & M dance in their heads" What would mummy say, or maybe she's the inspiration? Not awful, but the rhyming and rhythm color it with a sophomoric hue.
Re: Date Rape Gang Bang by Bachus	20-Aug-02/8:15 PM
A perfectly accurate depiction of what goes on in the mind of the violator. Poetry is not meant to be a reflection of the poet, but a reflection of the culture he lives in. This, my drunken brother, is not only contemporary, but up intil now, timeless. p.s. Isn't your name spelled B A C C H U S?