roses are read6 Apr 2002

ok, you have a beautiful way with words and images, but in the first 24 or so lines, that's all it is. you have no substance, only spun sugar. there is no motive behind the words, it seems to be building and building up to something. i would suggest cutting the first 20 or so lines, and starting the poem with "The tender scorn of the norm;". then it all flows a bit better. keep writing!