Everyone12 Jan 2004

Marilyn Manson's music has nothing in common with goth music. A lot of excited, misled teenagers think it is, because they like the idea that they're "goths".

Marilyn Manson is to goth music what Kenny G is to jazz. Ask anyone over the age of 17 who knows something about music that isn't marketed to angry children who think "Satan" is a terribly shocking word and cutting oneself is a soul-searching, freedom-fighting assault on suburbian normality.

Marilyn Manson didn't invent atheism. He didn't invent corpse paint. He didn't invent singing in a ridiculous croaking voice. He didn't invent lyrics about cutting yourself, Satan, being misunderstood, etc. He didn't invent calling himself by a lady's name on stage. He didn't invent chugging on an E chord for half an hour. He didn't invent doing "goth" covers of pop songs. He didn't invent "shocking" hoodies with "FUCK" on the back. He didn't invent wearing opaque contact lenses so it looks like he's got a tiny pupil and no iris. He didn't invent stripy stockings. He didn't invent transvetitism. The only thing he did invent was a perfect formula for getting angry, unpopular 13-year-olds to buy his music, wear his shirts and go to his concerts.

Marilyn Manson has never done an original thing in his life, even though I know you love him and think everything he does is incredibly inventive and amazing. But, you know, that's because you're an angry retard. Which is the best sort!