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?? (Free verse) by timvick473662003

School is a wreck Life is the same Joy comes once in a blue moon But then it stays But not for long It will fade... Fade away

Shuushin 4-Dec-03/9:30 AM
A sorrowful sentiment - but there is truth in it.

I'm torn whether to crit on the simplicity of it - the easy idiom with blue moon, the telling not showing...

but you know what? the effect is to add to the sense of ennui. The title even adds to the defeated/deflated realism.

I've done maybe a half dozen poems with a similar theme and really they all boil down to the same thing; they boil down to this.

So - have an 8 and keep writing.




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