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To Fly (Other) by amielou82

I wish I could fly, To have big beautiful wings, That soar me way up high, So I could see what the world brings. I’d fly over the land and over the deep blue sea, And get the feeling of being alone and free. No body to answer to or any rules to follow, Just flying around forgetting about tomorrow. To be high above the storm as it thunders, Looking down through the clouds at earth and its many wonders. Leaving the rest of the world standing still, My dream to be able to fly becomes real. As I enjoy the wind pass me by while in flight, I end the day high above as it turns into night. So come and join me and head up towards the sky, Cause nothing in life can make happier then the feeling you get when you fly.

Shuushin 16-Nov-03/8:31 AM
I have to say the simple sentiment is refreshing, and that sentiment is consistent with the language.

Imagine what you could convey with a broader toolset?

show me what the wings look like, show me more of that view; how, exactly, does the earth look through the clouds.

Can you make a play with the wings as clouds (another poem, perhaps)?

that last sentence - you shouldn't have to tell me that, I should read the thing and say it to myself.

Have an -8- with points for encouragement.




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